Bien Vendo Ay Miami

Writing this post I’m sort of reminded by that time on The Golden Girls, when Rose and Dorothy enter a songwriting contest about Miami.

For those of you who haven’t watched the 20th repeat of this episode on Foxtel or cable, the gist is the girls write about how nice Miami is but originally struggle with how to put the right words in without hurting the music. I guess that’s the closest to analogy I could come up with about my feelings on Miami.

I had come here full of visions with how the town was going to be – the bright colourful assault of people and music on the boardwalks that the movie The Birdcage presented, the tropical warmth and safety that The Golden Girls celebrated or the white blazer and colourful tee swag that Miami Vice dished out. But I guess, as often happens when you come somewhere with high expectations, I didn’t really experience that side of Miami at all. Or any side that made me want to come back in a rush.

I’ll be straight up here because obviously context means a lot – we had a tight schedule and therefore only one day in Miami. Determined to make it a success we headed out early from our hotel in Fort Lauderdale, but all the signs of a doomed day were already presenting themselves. First the traffic, then the unseasonably large amount of rain that began to fall as we approached, a GPS that failed us several times and a very wet and upset travel partner who accidentally stepped backwards into a very large water feature while taking a photo. Everything was not coming up Milhouse.

There were some great moments to strolling through the streets of downtown, but, in what appears to be a trend of mine, most of them were food-related. We stopped at Maya Tapas & Grill (809 Lincoln Rd, Btwn Meridian & Jefferson Ave, Miami Beach) for an argentinian/spanish influence breakfast – it was satisfying and delicious without being too memorable.

After some shopping on the mall we stumbled across the Miami Beach branch of the infamous Dylan’s Candy Bar (Lincoln Road Mall, 801 Lincoln Rd, Miami Beach) and purchased enough chocolate-dipped Oreos and extreme-flavoured chocolate bars to satisfy gift-giving requirements back home.

An urgent need to relieve myself of an earlier-consumed breakfast margarita (because by putting the word breakfast in front of it, it somehow makes it more acceptable to drink before 12pm) saw me in a McDonalds where I then impulse-purchased the so-wrong but oh-so-right McFlurry with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups smooshed through it, which although very satisfying to this Reese’s fan, was no match to the ultimate McFlurry flavour I tasted years earlier in London – The Cadbury Creme Egg McFlurry – that was the stuff of dreams.

By then, with a mix of margarita, bacon-chocolate and McFlurry in me, the rain had become torrential and unfortunately we had to abandon our trek down South Beach. I’m sure Miami is nice, but I can’t say it thrice, because the weather just made it pretty dull – that said, I did see my fair share of palm-tree-lined streets – just like I watched in Dexter. 

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